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Time for Sex According to a number of statistics, a sexual relation (act) between a married couple lasts for approximately eleven (11) minutes. Sexual pleasure in a couple is not achieved by learning and practicing complicated techniques, but by devoting time on it. We need time to learn about each other’s individuality; time to communicate in all areas of the relationship, which will allow greater emotional intimacy; time to understand that as men and women we have psychological differences that make us think and react distinctively; time to know how we function sexually, what we like, and what we dislike; time for our sex life to become active, spontaneous and with surrender; time to prepare the sexual encounter. A sexual encounter is the gifting of the body and soul, not only to unite our bodies, but also our divine parts, creating in the process the presence of God between us. The most important part is not necessarily the sexual act, but what happens before and after. The woman will generally desire to make love with her husband as a result of what kind of attention he provides her with, helping out with the kids, complimenting her, assisting around the house, etc. Men and women view sex in different ways. To men the sexual act is based in penetration. A woman, however, can have encounters with her husband, without the need of penetration and be able to enjoy it. Men do not need much stimulation to get excited and able to have an orgasm. Women, on the other hand, can need of up to 20 minutes of stimulation to reach climax. This difference is one of the reasons why instead of focusing in climaxing during sex, we should focus on each other’s pleasure. As we incorporate to sex a caressing touch directed to our mate’s pleasure, it will become the most complete form of communication in the couple. One thing to point out is that the same statistics show that married couples enjoy sex more than singles. As human beings we are more than just a body. When we include in our sexual encounters, affection, love, and tenderness and when this sexual act becomes the product of an emotional intimacy, of a coming together between the spouses’ souls, then it will be most satisfying, it will become marvelous. At Renovación Conyugal couple’s workshops we have a class named “Sexual Encounters” (Entrega Sexual) where we provide tools for a gratifying sexual life.
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